“But when I first won the European Championship, they said: ‘Emil, you are a genius! This happened in my time, some who misjudged the Comrades on their first attempt came back better prepared. You know you are an ultrarunner when you go for an easy 2 hour run in the middle of a Hurricane and think it is fun to get wet, muddy and run through the rivers that were once trails. Itâs the rest of it thatâs the problemâ and thatâs always been and still is the case. 44. 99. Four years later, she was unable to run on account of the American boycott of the 1980 Olympics in Moscow. If the urge to jog persists, double the loosening exercise. You know the location of every 7-11, public restroom, and water fountain within a 25-mile radius of your house. I donât really know what the answer is because the two words are pretty closely related except that one of them conjures up thoughts that are not quite as nice as the other but look at the dictionary and you will find that the word âemotionâ features in both definitions so I guess it doesnât matter too much which it is. He set an all-time record for the 10,000 metres race. A: They take the psycho path. I really got aggressive with myself, and I found myself starting to pass a lot of runners. I don’t think anyone anticipated that the concept would attract over 43000 entries. His Jack Russell, Bothie, became the first dog ever to travel to both the North and South Poles.]. 21. Lindsey tells you this and more, on today’s Ask Coach Parry podcast. . What I’m saying to Comrades runners and, to my mind, it doesn’t matter whether you have run 20 or 30 or whether you are about to run your first Comrades, don’t go into the race with no respect for what lies ahead. 109. This enables you, at the age of 85, to spend an additional five months in a nursing home at $5,000/month. The value of advertising is that it tells you the exact opposite of what the advertiser actually thinks. You don’t hesitate to lie down in the trail (anywhere) when you are falling asleep on your feet during the early morning hours on the second day of a 100 miler; and it feels so comfortable. She wore a hooded sweatshirt to disguise her gender. I’m told that this event is very tough and you are quite something if you can complete it. Q: Did you hear about the race 32. ), Real ultrarunners don’t need flashlights. Always wear – a) a brassier, and b) a jockstrap. You know you’re an ultrarunner after you post your third ULTRA message about relative 100 miler difficulty. 46. If that doesn’t work, show him your membership card from the Humane Society. ‘I was about to go after him,’ Khannouchi said, ‘but I thought, Why is he going now? I have always said that I don’t believe anyone needs to fear Comrades but whatever you do, you must respect it. I had to give up jogging for my health. This will be my first attempt at running Comrades. I have to exercise early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I’m doing. As he raised the cup to his lips, Khannouchi blazed by him, hitting the tape in 2:05:42. It doesnât often happen to people who have run it more than once. 61. I don’t jog; it makes me spill my milk shake. You’re tapering/recovering, and you’d rather drive 50 miles to watch Ann Trason’s heavenly running style for 20 seconds than the Super Bowl. 9. You know you’re an ultrarunner when people praise you to the high heavens for being able to finish a marathon, and you feel insulted. 42. No, this is the (excuse the cliché) twilight zone, which belongs to the joggers. Sometimes too there are mixed breed species of jogger. 91. 110. I have flabby thighs but fortunately my stomach covers them. I have a race coming up this weekend.”. Comrades Marathon - The Ultimate Human Race The 13 th edition of the fun community road running Greater Edendale 10km race takes place this Sunday, 17 November at the FNB Wadley Stadium in Georgetown, Edendale. You think that flagel and ibutrophin belong on the breakfast table. Clayton broke the world record in 1969 and promptly vomited black gunk. Easy. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes. The upshot? You know you’re married to an ultrarunner when Valentine’s gifts come from Ultrafit. “At the 1976 Olympics in Montreal, Olmeus Charles from Haiti was last by the largest margin ever recorded. 118. (Comment: I liked this one because it’s so arcane. You use your local 5 and 10km’s for “speed work.”. What happens … 4. 1. Q: Why was the blonde jogging backwards? [Though Jacqueline Gareau was declared the winner eight days later, Ruiz refused to return her medal. These joggers rarely run very far, and while they look quite impressive, there is a serious lack of forethought and Speed Jogger almost always overrates his abilities, and can often morph into either Equipment Boy or Scruffy Jogger depending of what Speed Jogger is wearing. Scruffy Jogger – These joggers stick usually to back streets and suburban areas. Comrades Marathon is arguably the greatest Ultra Marathon in the world where athletes travel from all over the world to combine muscle and mental strength to conquer this event between Durban and Pietermaritzburg and. “Perhaps sometimes I was like a mad dog,” he once declared. You know you are an ultrarunner when somebody asks about the distance of an upcoming race and you, without thinking, say, “Oh, it’s just a 50K.” …forgetting that for most people, a 5K is a heck of an accomplishment. 47. “Experts say that this is the first time in history a rapper has worn a tracksuit for a reason.”, “Khalid Khannouchi returned in 1999 to face Moses Tanui, a runner so tough he won a 10,000-meter silver medal after one of his shoes fell off. “Everyone was on their feet clapping and we had a piper. (Good try! Cheers Tony. “‘They looked about the same,’ race organizers said. Thank you for your comments. 97. Usually the friendliest of all jogger sub-species a kindly word or a nod is all you need to illicit a “G’day mate” or “Nice evening for it” from a Social Jogger. “I had a gland infection in my neck,” he recalled. You don’t think twice about eating food you’ve picked up off the floor. Your ideal way to celebrate the new year is to run as far as you can afford to with some fellow crazies. In mid-June 2004, marathon runner Huw Lobb became the first human being ever to win the annual Man vs Horse race at Llanwrtyd Wells in Wales. You know you’re an ultrarunner when our dogs can drink out of water bottles. Your friends recognize you better dressed in shorts than in long pants. It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. It is uncanny. The shortest method? With five miles to go, Khannouchi broke from the pack. 2. 6. This isnât something new. RESPECT COMRADES. During the Sydney Olympics Kenyan long-distance runner Kip Lagat was asked why his country produced so many great runners. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where she is. You know you’re an ultrarunner when you meet the opposite sex you see a possible crew, a possible pacer, a possible search and rescue team, a possible race director, a possible source of race entry fees. You run it a second time because its not far enough to call a training run. You develop an unnatural fear of mountain lions. . Though clearly destined for Olympic glory, Mary Decker was too young to run in the 1972 Olympics. Diddy’ Combs ran the New York marathon on Sunday in 4 hours and 15 minutes,” Conan O’Brien announced in early November 2003. The worst jogging injuries result from flopping. In days gone by when we were asked where Comrades started the answer was always âat the 60km mark because anyone can run that. You can expound on the virtues of eating salt. If you do that, there’s a very good chance you could be in for a very long and painful day. Trouble is, when a lot of you otherwise sensible readers see how much verve is to be had while jogging, you are going to try jogging yourself. I have often heard people say âIf Comrades was easy then everyone would do itâ but not everyone does it because itâs not easy. Apparently you have to show up. When you try to determine which 100 mile race is more difficult. Dogs can be a threat. 70. Equipment Boy – Almost (yet not always) male, Equipment Boy runs slowly and only for short distances. You are the only one walking the up hills. [Trivia: Even in the Arctic, Sir Ranulph Fiennes slept with the window open. In his third marathon ever, he had lowered the world record by 23 seconds.”, [Kenya’s Paul Tergat made the same mistake in the 2002 London marathon. Warning – Social Equipment Boy is contagious, and if you feel yourself slipping into his cult, or see any of your friends doing so, you must act quickly, only a severe dose of fish’n’chips followed by a long night in watching violent sports you don’t even understand can halt the onset of this disease. Someone asks you how long your training run is going to be and you answer “seven or eight … hours”. You know you’re an ultrarunner when, on the night of a bad thunderstorm and downpour, you ring for a cab, and your announcement that this is the *first time* you’re not getting home under your own steam causes a stunned silence in the office. 38. It was a Down Run and I was on schedule at Cato Ridge at around the 30km mark but by the far end of Harrison Flats, just a few kilometres further I felt a niggle in the muscle at the top of my right knee that definitely shouldnât have been there. Power Walker – This is the style most often adopted by the yuppies and other young professionals. They finish before dark. 29. Suffering from cramps early in the race, he hopped into an official’s car at the nine-mile mark and rode the next 11 miles of the race. You know you’re an ultrarunner when the start of a marathon feels like a 5K and you’re wondering “Why is everyone in such a rush? Where the ##@@**!! The blogs I have written feature various people I have met and things I have done and seen in the relationship of over 60 years I have had with the Ultimate Human Race. You rotate your running shoes more often than you rotate your tires. Given my own Comrades aspirations, Bart's tenacity in training and ultimately completing the race was inspiring to put it mildly. His chances of actually achieving his goal are as realistic as expecting that beer in the fridge with your name on it to not be drunk by your flatmate. Speak to cyclists and many will tell you that they stick to cycling because itâs easier than running. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. Prior to the battle, the renowned Greek messenger Phidippides is reputed to have run 150 miles in two days to secure aid from Sparta for the Athenians, and then run a little over 26 miles to carry news of the victory to Athens – before collapsing from physical exhaustion at the end of his ordeal. Itâs worth doing once in a while to remind oneself how good an idea the bicycle isâ. Your feet look better without toenails. surely ranks as one of history’s greatest battles, ending efforts to conquer Greece by Darius, the Persian king. In my day I never came across any one who did not respect the Comrades, we treated it with awe. For the first time in the history of the race, top Ethiopian runners entered, posing a great threat to defending champions. | Tags: Alan Robb, Athletics, Comrades, Comrades History, Durban, Marathon, Mental Approach, Pietermaritzburg, Road Running, Running, South Africa, Sport, Ultra Marathon. 12. After about an hour, a man comes out of the store and announces, "Comrades, I'm sorry to tell you, but there isn't enough meat for everyone, so the Jews have to leave." Tagged Athletics, Chiropractor, Comrades, Comrades Marathon, Easter 100, HIIT, Marathon, Physio, road running, Running, Slow Coach, Track Running, Ultra marathon Kosmos 3-in-1 (3 out of 3) 2014/03/17 by The Slow Coach You try to tie double knots in your Oxfords. You know your an ultrarunner when you actually sit down and read all of the postings about, “You know your an ultrarunner when…” and can laugh and relate to all of the comments. Los Angeles Marathon In his capacity as grand instigator and supreme leader of the Los Angeles Cacophony Society, “Reverend Al” Ridenour was famed for his practical jokes. Comrades in Lines The townspeople line up at the town store to wait to be given their rations. Sign Up About Zapiro Interviews Cartoon Licences Zapiro Figurines. Check your resting pulse. You don’t recognize your friends with their clothes on. Most notably from a recovery point of view; with the affect it has on training and possibly race day. 115. You walk up the stairs and run down them. These are often the most dangerous of all joggers, and if identified, should be avoided at all costs. '”], [Trivia: Zatopek was famed for his unusual running style. And follow Daveâs advice. If a huge, vicious dog charges you and lunges at your throat, say “There, boy down!”. I have said to many runners and particularly to many novice runners that they shouldn’t fear Comrades but they should certainly respect it. You know you’re an ultra runner when you can really identify with those scenes at night in the woods in The Blair Witch Project. For example: if the advertisement strongly suggests that particular brand of running shoes enabling athletes to perform amazing feats, the advertiser wants you to disregard the fact that shoe brand is unrelated to athletic ability. I don’t jog – it makes the ice jump right out of my glass. Your weekend runs are limited by how much time you have, not by how far you can run. “I started to feel old for the first time when I’m about two thirds of the way through a 5k and I’m going like, ‘I’m working it. Your email address will not be published. 51. 90. Comrades is not a joke and it should never be treated as a joke. 102. 84. I am a rookie runner and as of yet, I do not even have a marathon under my belt. After jogging, check your pulse rate again. No one else followed. What I forgot to mention was this, all our training and racing was aimed towards running the “Comrades” that was the big event for us then. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! You get more phone calls at 5:00 AM than at 5:00 PM. You buy economy-sized jars of Vaseline on a regular basis. “Well I didn’t listen and what happened? After hearing her story, he and 5 friends decided to take on the mammoth Comrades marathon to open up a young girl’s life to new possibilities. The number of toes and toenails you have is not equal. 72. If so many places on your body hurt you can’t figure out which one hurts more, so you ignore them all and do another 50K, and then you feel better! 15) For a marathon, you can plan and strategize all you want but when your legs give away with a mile left to the finish line, there is just one thing you need to remember – RUN AS IF YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. 71. Last spring, Runner's World chronicled Bart's journey to complete the Comrades Marathon. Without any of the money of Equipment Boy, Scruffy Jogger also longs to become fit. If youâre reading this and youâre going to be running your first Comrades this year and fear is starting to build up as you read, please donât let fear be there. I had run my best ever in 1975 and I was aiming to do even better in 1976. You know you’re an ultrarunner when your crew tries to keep you motivated by saying, “You’re in second place and only 6 hours behind. Boy, was I wild. Any time a plain old runner talks about her aches and pains, you can sympathize because you’ve already had that at least once. A. Jog-raphy ! People who have never seen the race before and the reaction has been amazing but usually along the lines of âhow do they do itâ? An argument broke out among the track officials as to whether he should be allowed to finish the course. But the Comrades is tough, however if you have trained for it both physically and mentally you should be able to finish no matter where you live. To think that I had trained hard for this race and didn’t do up my shoelace tightly enough! 93. And if you do not finish within the time limit, simply return next year for you will be more aware of what you need to do after speaking to the many runners during the race. You know you’re an ultra runner when no one believes you when you say “never again”. The friends from Johannesburg and Durban were inspired by the ethos of the 90 km ultra-marathon, known as the ‘ultimate human race’ which takes place this weekend, on the 10 th of June 2018. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Twice, he stopped to retie, and then went into a sprint to catch up to the leaders. I heard recently about one entrant who had a longest run of a qualifying marathon in a time of around 4:14 which she considered made her a fast runner and as a result she intended starting Comrades fairly fast. Tagged 50km, Comrades, Comrades Marathon, downhill, israel morake, Loskop, road running, Running, Slow Coach, Two oceans, Ultra marathon, Ultramarathon, uphill And the Reason is You 2015/02/08 by The Slow Coach 10. 10. Budd, jeered by the American crowd, finished 7th. Go into Comrades with no respect for the race, come undone and suffer badly and itâs your problem and youâll get no sympathy from me and I was sitting thinking about the way I feel about people who take part in the race and who, especially in their first run, don’t take it seriously. I threw some stones at him and he went away…”], Two months before the 1952 Olympic Games in Helsinki, marathon runner Emil Zatopek was advised by his doctors not to compete. 18. You start planning the family vacation around races and vice-versa. You tried hashing, but felt the trails were too short and easy. The reason? 33. Youre read this and relating to some of it. You know you’re an ultrarunner when you sign up for a 10K and you strap on your fanny pack because you never know where the aid stations are. So we also feel it is essential that you bear in mind the “Eight essential tips for the beginner”: 1. With a mile to go, the runners traded the lead every few steps, until Tergat finally faded. The “real” winner in 1904, Thomas Hicks, had to be helped across the finish line after 3 hours, 28 minutes and 53 seconds the worst marathon time in Olympic history. At the 1908 Olympic Games, the marathon, originally exactly 26 miles long, was officially increased by 385 yards. 68. You drink from a water bottle at the dinner table. So what is the best thing to do when recovering from illness at this stage. When running a marathon and at mile 20 say to yourself, “Wow, only 6 more miles left, this is such a great training run!” NB: saying it aloud can make one seem arrogant, beware! I was out driving just the other day, at around 6:30 pm. “I was unable to walk for a whole week after that, so much did the race take out of me,” Zatopek recalled. 81. 24. If you are going to try cross country, start with a small country. The third time, he just kept running, with one lace flapping. This is sometimes called “playing doctor” and, with any luck, will take your mind completely off running. ], “When I [Australian Olympian Rob de Castella] was about 14 or 15, and running in a pretty muddy cross country race, one of my shoes stuck in the mud and came off. Iâve felt this way going back as long as I can remember to my very early days to when I first started running Comrades. A: She wanted to gain weight! Initially I left all of these in the order I originally wrote them but after that I arranged them into various categories that might be of interest to the reader and these categories are listed in the menu. 36. 49. I suppose you do respect it when you understand the history, for even in the apartheid days, runners did encourage women and those of colour who were running the comrades unofficially. You don’t need to paint your toenails; they’re already different colors. You have to rent a car to drive to a major event because you and your pacer own stick shits and neither will be able to drive them on the return trip. After a speaking to his wife Nicky, an occupational therapist at L.U.C.C.A, a support and care centre for special needs children in Randburg, Byron Leggett and 5 friends decided to take on the mammoth Comrades marathon to You pass a swamp towards the end of a run and think ‘How bad could it be?”, 95. Jack had just became the first garden gnome in history to finish the Comrades Marathon! With a fast-paced field, pundits were predicting a world record. 19. The battle of Marathon in 490 B.C. Unless she is Supergirl in disguise, that particular lady was going to be in for a very long and painful day on Comrades day if she is able to make it past the 60km mark which seemed doubtful. 13. 76. Thank you Stuart. 5. 7. It appeared that Abbes Tehami of Algeria was an easy winner of the Brussels Marathon until someone wondered where his mustache had gone! You spend you entire paycheck on running gear, ultrabars, and entry fees. You just found out Poison and Oak are words by themselves. Following is a collection of humorous stories, anecdotes, one-liners and jokes on marathons, running, jogging and ultra-marathons, which were sure you will find amusing. So your Comrades entry for 2019 is in and you've had confirmation from the organisers that they've received it - so now what? 3. Among the entrants in the 1980 Boston Marathon was a runner named Rosie Ruiz. Decker did not finish the race and ended her career without an Olympic medal. I had a problem feeling sorry for her. 58. 83. To my mind thereâs a very big difference. A big list of soldier jokes! You say, “Taper? “Fred Lorz was the first competitor to cross the finish line [at the end of the marathon at the 1904 Olympic Games in St. Louis]. Short persons are built too close to automobile exhaust pipes. You’re an ultrarunner if nobody recognizes your power T’s. If you are going to take up cross-country skiing, it helps to start with a small country. 80. The worst combinations that can occur are invariably the “Opps Power Walker” (a vicious breed devoid of all manners and social graces they will bustle, barge and bump their way through crowds and nothing will stop them short of their goal) but they still pale compared to… The absolute worst inbred jogger however (and God help you if you meet one) is a “Social Equipment Boy” that has been separated from the pack. Look at it this way: your corpse is sure in great shape. 17. I know one young lady who, a couple of years ago claimed to be very fit and I think she was, so she entered for, and completed, the Iron Man in Port Elizabeth. . You postpone your wedding because it will interfere with your training. Good luck . 55. Running Jokes: Run along with jogging punch lines, racy humor, marathon runner puns, jogger jokes, sprinting humor and ongoing treadmill puns. All you now have to do is to run a qualifier before the beginning of May and pitch up at the start of Comrades on the 9th of June, but is it really that simple? So what I learnt from the race has enabled me to deal with the difficult periods we all have in life, and to achieve my subjective goals. 41. Your pedicure kit includes a pair of pliers. ), Ultrarunners who’ve learned the hard way don’t change bulbs — they change flashlights. 73. If workman from the city come by and paint you green, you may be running too slow. He really really wants to become a stud, and thinks his chances getting fit will be improved if he wears spandex shorts, a heart monitor, new trainers a sweat band and sports a new drink bottle. Oatso Simple’s slogan? Have a trail shoe collection that would make Imelda Marcos envious. When livestock salt blocks look good after a run. You know you are an ultraWOMAN if… You have more fanny packs than purses. People at work think you’re in a whole lot better shape than you think you are. You know you are stressed if you can achieve “runners high” by sitting up. But that was then. Most Australian marathon runners have heard about Comrades due to the strong South African influence in Australia particularly in running circles. 11. You consider the mold and mildew in your bottles extra electrolytes. 88. You really envied Tom Hanks’ long run as Forest Gump. You start wearing running clothes to work so that you’re all prepared. '” he recalled. Apparently you have to show up. Things have changed in recent years with a very full calendar and whilst Comrades and a few other distance races are attracting very big numbers and entries are selling out very quickly (Comrades 2019 closed with 25,000 entries just 6 days after opening) a fairly big number of novices particularly, don’t know what lies ahead of them and as a result go into Comrades under trained. Many years ago I read an article that said Comrades was the great leveler when you have to cover almost 90kms on foot within a certain time and where your wealth, your job, the car you drive and where you live mean nothing. Comrades is definitely a race that deserves respect no matter how many times you’ve done it! ], Marathon runner Emil Zatopek was once advised to adopt a regimen of interval training. 48. ], [Trivia: According to Australian mathematician Burkard Polster, there are 43,200 possible ways to tie a shoe with two rows of six eyelets. I have often heard novices say they are really scared and my reaction is always that they shouldnât be scared of Comrades but if they are properly prepared both physically and mentally for Comrades they need to respect it but not fear it. I’m not talking about the foot race that Vic Clapham battled against the odds and the authorities to get going in 1921 and at which 34 people eventually lined up and 16 You know you’re an ultrarunner when you need to ask for a ride from a friend because you drive a stick shift. Scruffy Jogger doesn’t as much “run” as “shuffle” along giving him the appearance of the ill-dressed and shambley zombies from a B-grade horror film. The Joy of Marathons Giving the crowd tremendous value for money, he completed the course in 42 minutes 00.11 seconds. 108. Loosen up first. “It didn’t matter about style or what it looked like to others; there were records to break.” Said Ohio State track coach Larry Snyder, “He does everything wrong but win.”]. I wasnât too worried about it, but by the time I got to Drummond I had decided to adjust my finish time by an hour that would still give me a comfortable 9 hours although the muscle was getting worse. 94. He was greeted with cheers from the American crowd and Alice Roosevelt, daughter of Pres. Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas，headed for Houston.. One sat in the window seat，the other sat in the middle seat. She was named the winner and might have retained her crown – had she not been caught entering the race one mile from the finish line. In 1976, she was injured. 66. At last, in the 3,000 meter event at the 1984 Los Angeles Olympics, she seemed certain to clinch a medal… until, with just three laps to go, Zola Budd stumbled into her and knocked her to the ground. 112. 75. 67. Welcome to another Ask Coach Parry, and we are getting loads of great questions in as we get closer to the Two Oceans Marathon and the Comrades Marathon. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Your wife tries to introduce you to your three children and you reply “Three?”. You are told *not* to run another marathon during the next few months (because that would be bad for your health), and you really follow that advice – by immediately sending off the entry form for your next 50/100 miler. Khannouchi stayed close until the 17th mile, when Tanui took off. You call a 50-mile race “just another training run”. You’re an ultrarunner (and this is an absolute requirement, which I feel should be included in all race entry forms) if as an infant you were dropped on your head. Those people have learnt that Comrades deserves respect and they give it the respect it deserves. For Expat South African runners living in Australia it is more than just a very long Marathon, it’s one of their national icon’s that they have grown up watching on TV and which the […] “Checking eyewitness accounts, it quickly became evident that the mustache belonged to Tehami’s coach, Bensalem Hamiani. At least not in public. Now I’m having a dram of whisky to celebrate.” In 2002, Scott, who typically walked about nine hours each day, covering half a mile per hour, took only five days to complete the London and New York marathons, but set a record in 2003 because he was hit by food poisoning. You have a permanent combination scar/tan in the outline of a jogbra. You wear t-shirts based on if you’ve had good work outs when you’ve worn them before. When you start considering your next vacation on the merits of its ultras. His presence at the Los Angeles marathon, however No! “But it was the most pleasant exhaustion I have ever known.”].
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